I'm just so annoyed with myself. Why wasn't I smarter? Why did I have to depend on tuition so much?
Mummy's angry because I spend a lot of her cash on tuition. At least I'm not wasting it. It's tearing me apart. I want to do well. I
Oh God, why is it so hard? I'm in utter distress, and I am feeling miserable. The sky cries with me, while trying to get myself to be better at my studies.
Now I don't just have to get an A1 for Physics. I better f-ing get one. So sorry for the use of language, but I need it. On my wall, I have post-its all around telling me what I need to do, and need to learn. And I better, get my A1. I must.
Mummy and Daddy are spending too much on my tuition fees. It's crazy. It's retarded. It's absurd. I am so going to work, to pay Mum and Dad back for my tuition fees. And when I get rich, I will buy Dad a Mercedes. I am grateful to my parents for taking this sacrifice to do this. But, Mummy doesn't know how to control her temper. When she scolds, it is not to discipline but rather to relieve the stress she is under. You're not the only who's stressed up, woman.
Sigh. Oh God, I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I can't find meaning in this. Would you, give Mum more clients so that she would be able to remove the deficit, and to just support this family.
Sleep. I need sleep. I'm falling into the pit of fatigue. And at the bottom of the pit, there are the sharp edged rocks of insanity.
God. I need you. I need to depend on you. I need your strength oh God. Please protect Daddy too, as he goes into China.
found a tunnel @ 12:10 AM